Category — Entertainment

Tis’ the season for the annual run of holiday tear-jerkers on the Hallmark Channel.

Because we have but one TV with a cable feed and because I’m such a nice guy, my usual Fall Saturday evening football viewing has been preempted by episode after episode of melodramas. My sister absolutely loves them as she gets into the spirit of Xmas.

While she gurgles in delight, I sit there quietly folding laundry, waiting for commercials so I can flip over and check on the progress of Texas Tech versus Oklahoma. It isn’t so bad, though. The stories are OK, predictable…a bit sappy but tolerable. That is, until I notice the unbelievable absence of Black people, Hispanic people, even beloved Asians (Gee Becky, they’re so smart! Let’s adopt one!).

Then I get it…the Hallmark Channel is the incarnation of White peoples’ idea of Heaven on Earth, a broadcast version of a circa 1970s country club. Now instead of paying attention to the storyline, I’m looking for people of color anywhere…in the backgrounds, driving cars, even busing tables. No luck so far. But wait! Dammit! They actually did it…there is a Black woman in a maid’s uniform in the woman’s bathroom at the Minneapolis airport having a conversation with the lead actress:

‘Nice photos you have there’.
‘Why thank you. My family is my pride and joy.’
‘And is this your husband? You all look so good together’.
‘Why yes and thank you! Do you have a photo of your family?’.
‘Yes, I carry it with me wherever I go…this is my son, Darius and my husband, Joseph’.
‘Such nice looking men. What does Joseph do for a living?’ (says the White heifer with gleaming predatory teeth).
‘Oh, he’s no longer with us. He was a police officer and was trying to break up a fight when he was shot’.

Who dreams up this shit?! Probably some Rethuglican nee Demokrat producer with the excuse that his shows ‘mirror life’, but who actually is still pissed that he was forced to admit Blacks and Jews to his Long Island country club in 1974. And, y’all know I’m right. How do I know this White man is still pissed? Because during the commercial break, Hallmark previewed a show starring Black actors Chandra Wilson and Ben Vereen as two homeless people who, of course, will be helped and ‘brought together in love’ by White people. Please!

So thanks Hallmark for giving not-so subliminal messages to anyone who stumbles over your channel. You still suggest that, even in 2008, niggas are still marginally visible and can’t take care of themselves. But that’s OK. I ain’t buying your greeting cards until y’all represent for real. Anybody else wanna join my boycott?

Arguably the best ad campaign in history, Wassup, has re-emerged eight years later this time as political commentary. Even with the effects of a down economy and imminent change in the White House, the boys are still able to come together and stay true to what really matters.

I needed the laugh. Don’t forget to vote.

At 60 years old, Grace Jones should an inspiration for many of us closing in on that number. She’s fine, elusive, but damn if I didn’t get a few straight-up chills watching this video. I’ve watched it twice now. The first time I found it unsettling: you know, “Wow! Grace Jones! She’s still rockin’! Nice beats but, oh snap, sinister visuals…she’s scarier than ever.” The second time, I analyzed the lyrics: “Corporate Cannibal…hmm, I get it…feeding on consumers. But she wants to feed on what? Your meat is sweet…WTF!” Not sure there will be a third viewing, but tell me what you think.

video peep courtesy of Undercover Black Man and Ernest Hardy

I’ve been in need of some serious chill time lately. Ask anybody. Working nights has destroyed my rhythm. Hard to keep fresh when you work from midnight to 4am, come home, get in that first shift of sleep, get up, do chores, exercise, nosh a bit, blog, sleep a second shift, get up, shower, then head out to do it all over again. What am I going to do when graduate school starts in six weeks? Uh, did I mention that I’m a baby boomer? Or, that this is my likely schedule for the next three years? Not only is this going to get old fast but I’m going to get older, faster.

Subsequently, I covet my chill time. Typically, my schedule only allows me to reserve Saturdays for rest and recovery. Don’t call me or come by the house. Listen, I’m so old school, I still consider cell phones intrusive. If you must interrupt me it better be for a good damn reason. I need REM sleep and I can’t get that if I’m talking to you. Though I guard my chill time religiously, I’m not a complete isolationist. I can be reached by phone but I route my public number through Grand Central which does a great job of handling my calls. Unless you’re in my inner circle of family and friends and privy to my direct number, the best option is to email me and be patient. I’ll get back to you soon enough.

Thus Saturdays are sacrosanct. Sleep is king. If I do anything during daylight hours, it’s reading, a little prayer or scoping the Net. Only after sundown do I do things remotely normal. I’ll catch up on the news online (BBC, CNN, NPR, various blogs, local outlets). I might throw in a load of wash, try out a new recipe for the wok or grill or watch sports or a movie. It was last Saturday, post-chill and during the mindless pursuit of broadcast TV, that I happened on one of the funniest commercials I’ve seen in years.

If you haven’t seen Nike’s Hyperdunk Recovery Center, feast your senses on this snippet. It reminds me of the life I knew before my knees gave in to more sensible pursuits. After watching this video, my former GF suggests that Nike should hire ‘Zen Master’ Phil Jackson as an HDRC therapist during the offseason, or at least, a guest lecturer. Heads up, Nike. Are you listening?

Sure, I been dunked on. But I done the dunkin’ too. More later. It’s time to get in that two-hour nap before work. That’s how I do.

Regardless of your political preference, you have to admire the creativity and marketing savvy of the Obama campaign. They have raised more money than any other presidential campaign in history and energized a generation by utilizing media more effectively than the competition. Listen up.