Tis’ the season for the annual run of holiday tear-jerkers on the Hallmark Channel.
Because we have but one TV with a cable feed and because I’m such a nice guy, my usual Fall Saturday evening football viewing has been preempted by episode after episode of melodramas. My sister absolutely loves them as she gets into the spirit of Xmas.
While she gurgles in delight, I sit there quietly folding laundry, waiting for commercials so I can flip over and check on the progress of Texas Tech versus Oklahoma. It isn’t so bad, though. The stories are OK, predictable…a bit sappy but tolerable. That is, until I notice the unbelievable absence of Black people, Hispanic people, even beloved Asians (Gee Becky, they’re so smart! Let’s adopt one!).
Then I get it…the Hallmark Channel is the incarnation of White peoples’ idea of Heaven on Earth, a broadcast version of a circa 1970s country club. Now instead of paying attention to the storyline, I’m looking for people of color anywhere…in the backgrounds, driving cars, even busing tables. No luck so far. But wait! Dammit! They actually did it…there is a Black woman in a maid’s uniform in the woman’s bathroom at the Minneapolis airport having a conversation with the lead actress:
‘Nice photos you have there’.
‘Why thank you. My family is my pride and joy.’
‘And is this your husband? You all look so good together’.
‘Why yes and thank you! Do you have a photo of your family?’.
‘Yes, I carry it with me wherever I go…this is my son, Darius and my husband, Joseph’.
‘Such nice looking men. What does Joseph do for a living?’ (says the White heifer with gleaming predatory teeth).
‘Oh, he’s no longer with us. He was a police officer and was trying to break up a fight when he was shot’.
Who dreams up this shit?! Probably some Rethuglican nee Demokrat producer with the excuse that his shows ‘mirror life’, but who actually is still pissed that he was forced to admit Blacks and Jews to his Long Island country club in 1974. And, y’all know I’m right. How do I know this White man is still pissed? Because during the commercial break, Hallmark previewed a show starring Black actors Chandra Wilson and Ben Vereen as two homeless people who, of course, will be helped and ‘brought together in love’ by White people. Please!
So thanks Hallmark for giving not-so subliminal messages to anyone who stumbles over your channel. You still suggest that, even in 2008, niggas are still marginally visible and can’t take care of themselves. But that’s OK. I ain’t buying your greeting cards until y’all represent for real. Anybody else wanna join my boycott?
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